Colemanballs

For no other reason than I think they’re funny (and I have a fondness for the perpetrators)
The magazine Private Eye coined the phrase Colemanballs to mean the funny verbal phrases and sentences that come out of the mouths of sports commentators. It was originally applied to David Coleman whose enthusiasm and involvement in his job meant he made many endearing gaffes during his 46 years as a highly respected sports commentator. 

Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales - a medieval text full of language fun

Honourable History
Ballsing up the English Language has a long history with deliberate language jokes as far back as Chaucer’s medieval Canterbury Tales and embodied in the misspeaking of Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan’s 1775 play The Rivals. Apparently as early as the 1949 Oxbridge Boat Race, the BBC commentator John Snagge announced “I can’t see who’s in the lead, but it’s either Oxford or Cambridge” which falls into the category of Stating The Bleeding Obvious. Some of David Coleman’s utterances fall into this category.

Sheridan's Mrs Malaprop - the "very pineapple of politeness"

Verified Colemanballs

• If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.
• This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning.
• He is accelerating all the time. The last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.
• He’s 31 this year – last year he was 30.
• Forest have now lost six matches without winning.

A few of my favourite Colemanballs not by Coleman

• They didn't change positions; they just moved the players around.
• I don’t want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he’ll go abroad.
• He’s one of the greatest players in the world, if not one of the greatest anywhere.
• I never make predictions and I never will.
• This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.
• Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.
• If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.
• He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it – in fact you can see it all over their faces.
• Here they come, every colour of the rainbow: black, white, brown.
• And he missed the goal by literally a million miles.
• He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!
• The game is not over until it is.

RIP David Coleman